Digital Safety

With kids doing classwork online due to prolonged school closures during the coronavirus pandemic, it is good for parents to remember to vary what they are doing by not only adding some physical activity to screen time, but also to remember engaging in just plain old conversation. Adding that language component is extra important in these times of reliance on digital learning and entertainment, JAMA Pediatrics points out in a recent article. They cite that while high-quality educational screen content is associated with better language skills, more overall time on screens each day, regardless of its quality, is linked to lower language development. Sheri Madigan, lead researcher from the University of Calgary in Canada, says school leaders and educators can help parents develop plans to keep screen time in check.

A coalition of Internet companies and social media giants -- Microsoft, Google, Facebook, Roblox, Twitter and Snap -- is backing a set of 11 principles put forth by the US, the UK, Australia, Canada and New Zealand to fight the spread of online child exploitation. Meanwhile, a bipartisan group of US senators has introduced the EARN IT Act, which would allow the government to strip away tech companies' legal immunities for what their users post if the companies fail to crack down on online child sexual abuse.

Security and ease of use of digital devices are often positioned as being diametrically opposed, with tech companies saying they can’t implement more security if users keep demanding ease of use. But it doesn’t have to be like that, writes Rania Molla in a commentary in Vox. There will always be some trade-offs between ease of use and security, he argues, but none of that should prevent tech companies from aiming for a reasonable balance and meeting basic standards instead of blaming users for security breaches. Molla suggests that companies are beginning to move in the right direction with technologies such as Apple's Face ID and Google's pop-up alerts on phones for two-factor authentication.

When it comes to digital safety, a lot comes down to modeling the kind of behavior you would like to see your kids follow as well as setting rules and expectations for everyone in your household, including visitors. One way to do that it is to let other parents know when they drop off their kids at your house what kind of rules you follow when it comes to television, movies, games and apps. Here is how to do that:

• Clearly state your media dos and don’ts. Be as specific as possible about the time limits, types of media, and content you allow and don't allow.
• Share the titles. If your kid is currently into a certain show or game, it's likely they'll want to enjoy it with their friend. Tell the other parent that you're comfortable with, for example, the kids watching two episodes of The Mandalorian after they get back from riding bikes.
• Check out their response to your rules. Remember, the other parent may not like your media rules. And if you want them to respect yours, you need to return the favor.
• Make sure your kids know the rules. Discuss any media rules with your kid in advance and make sure they know that playdates depend on them being responsible about sticking to the rules.
• Be consistent. The more you set the ground rules at your home around media and tech, the more other parents will start to expect it from you. And if you're lucky, they'll start following your lead.

And remember…. If your kid ends up seeing something at someone else's house that you wouldn't have approved of, it's not likely to do much damage. Restate your rules with your kid, but don't put too much pressure on them to uphold them when you are not around. They're still learning how to do that. And if you freak out because their friend showed them an off-limits video, they might not tell you about it next time. If it was egregious (porn, explicit R-rated movie, etc.), you might consider having an open, nonjudgmental conversation with the other parent and next time, invite the other kid to your place!

Bowing to criticism, TikTok has unveiled parental controls in a new feature called Family Safety Mode that allows parents to link their accounts to their teens'. This allows parents to set time limits as well as manage direct messages and content. The safety mode is currently only available in the UK but will be expanded to other geographic areas in the near future.

There are a myriad of stories floating around online about laptop cameras, security cameras, and baby monitor cameras being hacked, allowing hackers to both spy on or communicate with unsuspecting adults and children. While these attacks do happen, they are preventable. Here are a few tips if you have these devices in your home:

• If you haven’t already, you probably should cover the camera lens on your desktop or laptop, even if you just fold a piece of paper or put a sticky note. For most of us, chances of being spied on this way will never happen, but it is easy to eliminate all risk.
• Secure your wireless router so that you can disable remote access to your router. This will prevent it from being configured from anywhere but inside your house and connected to your network. This is especially important id you have Internet protocol (IP) cameras in your household, including your baby monitor. These devices use the Internet and your local area network to communicate with your smart phone.
• Next you need to add layers of protection – one is not enough. First and foremost, all cameras in your household should have a strong password. It is important to treat your cameras with the same attention to security that you do with your laptop, tablet and phone. You will also want to make sure your network itself is protected by enabling encryption and disabling remote access. Another good tip is to change the name of your home network – leaving it as default can tip off a cybercriminal onto what type of router you have. If they know the manufacturer of your router, they will know the vulnerabilities that model has and can try to exploit them, according to Ioana Rijnetu from the Heimdal Security blog.
• Stay vigilant and make sure your keep the firmware – the pre-installed software that runs your camera – updated. Since the steps for doing that vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, make sure you know the name and model of your camera if you need to consult with the manufacturer.
• Beyond that, follow this Video Baby Monitor Security checklist that works for most any kind of camera in your home.

Efforts by school districts to supply students with computers or tablets are meeting resistance from parents who are concerned about the amount of time their children are spending in front of a screen. Parents have expressed various concerns, including changes in classroom instruction, access to inappropriate online content, and how the use of electronics is weakening student handwriting, eyesight and posture. One of the biggest issues with districts taking steps to distribute digital devices to their student community has been a lack of teacher training on how to make the best use of these devices and take full advantage of what the technology has to offer, rather than using them as a classroom diversion. Schools and parents alike are caught between making sure students are prepared for the jobs of tomorrow and being mindful that life and learning also takes place in places other than in front of a screen.

Sharing pictures and updates about your children on social media has become a norm for most people who want to keep in touch with family and friends around the world, despite experts on digital safety cautioning parents about being very careful about what you post.  Accustations of “sharenting,” or obnoxiously sharing every little detail of their children’s lives in pictures online, criticize parents who are robbing children of their right to privacy and dignity, and sometimes rubbing others the wrong way by what many see as bragging. So what should you think about when it comes to cautiously and sparingly posting pictures of your children online?

• Before you post a picture to any site, understand there is still the potential for anyone to see it. Even if you have created a private or “secret” group, with every privacy control available, people may still be able to forward pictures and messages, so think very carefully about what you post. Anything that is shared online – pictures, messages, status updates­– is stored somewhere and has the potential to come back and haunt you (or your child) later. Think about how pictures of your child misbehaving or negative comments about behavior or learning issues could affect them in the future.
• For what you do decide to post, use as many privacy control settings as possible before posting a picture of your child on any social media site. These are not absolute guarantees to keep strangers from seeing her photo, but it decreases the risk. Also turn off your phone’ s GPS. The default on most phones is to have the GPS turned on.
• Think about using photo-sharing sites such as Google Photos or Flickr that require users to log in to see your individual pictures (unlike on social media, where all your followers can see them).
• Never offer any personal information with the photo such as your home address, your children’s school, where their birthday party was held or even what sports team they are on or where the game was played.
• Make it a rule to try to not include your children’s friends in pictures, but if it is unavoidable do not identify their friends by name.
• Avoid posting any pictures or comments suggesting your child is a loner or if he's upset about something someone said. Strangers might use that to lure your child into a situation that can be dangerous.
• Recognize that while you are the owner of the photo you took, by posting it on a social media site you effectively grant permission to the website where you posted it to use the work in any manner according to its terms of use or privacy standards. If copyright is your concern, consider adding a digital watermark (a superimposed logo or word) to your photos.
• If you share custody of your children, take care. Sometimes ex partners find it emotionally trying to see photos of their child when they are not part of the happy occasion.
• As soon as your child is old enough to understand, ask permission before posting any photos. What may seem innocent to you, it might embarrass her if her classmates see it. The last person you should ever want to embarrass or expose to cyberbullying is someone you're supposed to protect.
• Once the picture is posted be prepared for a variety of feedback. Not everyone will see that darling or amusing picture of your child the way you do.
• Keep in mind that posting a picture of a child could identify you to advertisers and data collectors as someone to target for baby or childrens products.

Malware known as “Predator the Thief”, which is capable of stealing usernames and passwords, has received updates that could make attacks more effective. The malware has added phishing documents, such as fake invoices from companies you may do business with (while a previous campaign used a fake court summons as a lure), to attract victims and has become better able to avoid detection and analysis. Remember to never open an attachment in an email or text unless you know who it is from and what it might be about.

What does a balanced tech life for your children look like? A recent article in Martha Stewart Living discusses the framework of Dr. Mike Brooks, author of Tech Generation: Raising Balanced Kids in a Hyper-Connected World, who points out that thinking about how technology could become a problem - before it does - is the way to keep communication open with your children. He emphasizes the importance of being a good role model in your own use of technology, and setting screen limits for every family member. In his way of thinking, there is no one size fits all standard for limiting screen use. 

While parents should know what the recommendations for screen use are from organizations like the American Academy of Pediatrics and Common Sense Media, Brooks points out that parents need to trust their parenting skills and teach children how to self regulate, pointing out that "Autonomy is a developmental need for children—they want greater independence. And if we're micromanaging all these aspects of their lives, screen time included, they're going to resent it." He argues that heightened anxiety over screen time amongst parents can actually be damaging to the child-parent relationship, and more harmful than screens themselves. 

If you’re looking for some immediate ways to limit screen time for kids, this recent short video from Good Morning America interviews teens and highlights the problem of addiction, while offering some quick tips on limiting screen time. Practical suggestions include no devices at meal times or in bedrooms or bathrooms. They recommend setting up a central charging station so kids have no excuse to have their phones in their rooms at bedtime. Experts also suggest becoming familiar with and using timers and parental control apps. For the long term, think about investing in a router that can help you regulate the time each family member can use the Internet as well as nurturing your kid’s interests in sports, art, music and other activities outside of digital devices.