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Who are the bullies at your child’s school? Many would believe they are kids with multiple challenges – unpopular, at risk, or with issues at home or other special needs. While many times those students do tend to act out, a recent National Research Council report on bullying has found that most bullies, especially in high school, are actually the socially skilled, popular students who are hurtful as they try to establish and maintain social dominance.

How are schools approaching this finding? Many have come to realize that the “rules and punishment” approach to bullying and cyberbullying doesn’t work, and could even make the bullying worse. Evidence shows that often students will not report hurtful incidents for fear that it won’t help or just make things worse.

One new approach being suggested by many experts is getting schools to switch from bullying prevention to ensuring a more positive climate. One group that is working to bring about that kind of change is Embrace Civility in the Digital Age. Their site is full of ideas and resources to help school staff, students, and administrators to lay the foundation to fight bullying by creating a school environment where hurtful behavior is incompatible with the accepted social norms.